Luca's nest

Being a grandmother is an exciting never ending adventure.Everyday busy between work,

[yes...am still working ...until august...]

diapers,baby bottles,tears,smiles,laughter,

lullabies...well...I have very little time left for my little weird moments...

but am doing fine.

Still have time to go to church every Sunday and even there I have Kelcy

following me as my shadow.

Yenaisis is still a big worry.She's going through a lot of tests to find out

why she isn't growing...One of the specialists discovered she doesn't hear well...

and she'll be going through an operation the 22 of april.They're also

doing a genetic test to see if she has a syndrome that scared us all.

We hope it's not true...

I miss my moments here...and all of you...and I really expect to have more

time after Yenaisis operation...and be in touch with everybody again.

Take care...be good

love you

Today I have to go to the main office to talk about my future without A JOB.

I'm a bit nervous.Mixed feelings are driving me nuts.I want to go on working

and I don't want to work anymore . It's an opportunity to rest.And my mind wanders

full of anxiety and worry about a few of those I will have to leave.

I don't see me staying at home looking at my grandchildren growing up...

and still my heart desires to have a peaceful life without worrying anymore

about the rest of the world...

And so...I have to go to work now...thinking about the interview at 2:00pm

that will decide my future...without work...

There's only one thing left: to trust God's plan and have the strength to accept it...

Luca Gabriel my last grandchild

I was trying to upload a video but it didn't work.I'll try again later.

I have to run now to work.

love to everybody.

Kelcy stared at her mother's photo embracing her stepfather

and after a few minutes of deep thinking she turn to me and said:

"-Moma...my mom loves Jose very much

Jose loves mom very much

They are very happy together...they have each other... moma...

But ...who do I have ?"

-silence for a while-

My hug wasn't enough...Kelcy is now a big part of my life.

She stays with me from Friday to Sunday night.I take her to school almost everyday before going to work

and we do a lot of things

together...like baking bread  on Saturdays or go out looking for nests...

Last Sunday we went together to church!!!!!Oh yes...am back to church after a 20 year

free play...I've joined the mormon church...it's helping me a lot.

This was one of the reasons that took me away from my xanga...a very good reason.

There are many others...being almost jobless is another one...and yea...I'll explain

everything another day.I have now two weeks vacation...

my love to everybody

am ok.I'll try to come around later.Thanks to all of you.

all my love

yesterday I saw a beautiful silver moon with a scary red ring surrounding her.

[just to say am here]

take care

looking into your eyes

rainbows of joy

cascade into mine

I forget

the stormy yesterday

and enjoy the moment

of today.

love you

and

thank you

Kelcy-Yenaisis-Christian

[today...a visit to the reptiles]

Chris was taken to Amsterdam today.

he's very weak...he lost 10 kilos in 5 days.

they'll try to make him stronger to operate  next monday.

 To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late

[the Byrds-Words-adapted from the bible, book of ecclesiastes
Music-pete seeger]

[another saturday.another cold morning.winter breath coming slowly by.

peace.inner peace.

outside hell flourishing on the streets of the low lands.

 there's something floating in the air altering

human behavior.there's something floating in the air altering human

tissues.there's something in the air altering the natural flow of pure

energy...love.

my friend Chris waits  to be urgently operated

in Amsterdam.the carcinoma doesn't wait.it's a matter of individual circumstances

my friend.some trees are part of a beautiful garden having their own gardener.others

grow in the wild without special care.

we are just a bit fed up with the pain and the odor of putrefacted tissues.for the pain

OxyContin helps.you sleep endlessly the whole day through.it's like having you

and not having you.but we still hope for a positive result.half of your face will be

reconstructed...and still 35 days of radiotherapy after surgery.will you be able to hold

on till the 29th?Ali is so afraid of losing you....and I am so sorry you are not a tree

from a beautiful rich garden...with a special gardener...to treat you right now.

it's saturday...peace.]