October 25, 2007

  • full moon inner state


     

     
    Come silver moon
    and jewelled night
    'til I'm caught in your eyes
    Unbroken spell
    as bound by book and bell
    and candle light


    Embrace the dark
    and fade to grey
    beneath this cold standing
    stone

    'Til you and I
    will meet again
    another time and place

    It's only for the day
    and soon the day will fade away

     

    silver moon

     

    when I was five I got my first money...a few cents collecting wood for the baker...with that first money I bought a little clay flute...the music curse...or blessing....who knows ?

    I also got my first pair of shoes...well...not really shoes...klompen.I didn't dare to put them on...and carried them around for a long time under my arms...I didn't want to dirty them.

    I remember getting for my birthday a cup of coffee...which was a luxury then.I felt very adult and rich...drinking that coffee.Candy...there wasn't

    such a thing...my granny used to give me a bit of sugar...and that was taken as the best candy ever.

     

    I remember my childhood with love and tenderness.I love that little girl that still lives in my

    world.

    For many  years I lived with a question with no answer:

    "why did my mother hate me?"

    Now...I understand...she didn't hate me...she just didn't know how to love.

    She was never loved.And my heart melted...and I felt so much love and compassion for my mom.

     right now...I miss you so much mom...I miss the moments we have lost...

    you hating me...and I searching for your love everywhere else...

    will we have the time to make it right mom?

     

     

     


     



Comments (5)

  • :heartbeat: ))))    maybe not with her  but you've made it right many times over by loving & not hating & expressing that  however "justified "  hating  may have been   that is what really matters    :spinning:  i loved my childhood too & had coffee with cream & sugar poued in a saucer by my grandmother   i love u  mme))))))))))

  • ps :(  i'm not minimizing the pain  of your situation well   i know how really old wound cleaning can pain one  :wave:

  • Beautiful image and poetry!! Just wonderful.

    I love hearing about your childhood - you are so poetic!

    I am so sorry your mom didn't know how to love. So many people don't know how to love and we all take it so personally - especially children from parents. I wish you healing ... ~ Diane Clancy :heartbeat:

  • The Link doesn't work, but I've been at http://www.mountainmeadowswiki@blogspot.com since September
    11th. My family isn't historical in this area of history and sugarcoat when it isn't neccessary .
    Four generations back of love and familial love, shared interests, and in this generation--nada.

    Love you,
    how's Church?

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